Care leavers’ transitions to independence
Trusted relationships that made a difference to care leavers
- Who care leavers trusted
- What made someone trustworthy
- How trusted people supported care leavers
- Why trust mattered to care leavers
Who care leavers trusted
Care leavers talked about trusting many different people. Trust wasn’t about someone’s job title, it was about who made them feel seen, respected, and supported. Friends were especially important. They noticed early signs of struggle, checked in, and encouraged young people to take up opportunities that helped them move forward. Some formed close bonds with peers who had also experienced homelessness, care, or family trauma. These friendships created understanding and a sense of belonging that services didn’t always offer. Workplaces were also places that grew trust. Colleagues and managers encouraged young people to progress in work or education. Some care leavers kept strong relationships with foster carers when the relationship had been warm and stable over many years. Others relied on family members who were consistent and emotionally available. Teachers, safeguarding staff, tutors, and even school receptionists were described as trusted adults who stepped in when no one else did. Counsellors or mentors with lived experience were sometimes the first adults who truly understood their journeys.
Chloe talked about forming close, trusted friendships with others who had lived through similar trauma.
Chloe talked about forming close, trusted friendships with others who had lived through similar trauma.
I really appreciated living in a building with sixty other people who had been through the same thing that I had. Whether it was homelessness or like they had been in care. They sort of, we were all sort of estranged from our families in different circumstances. [erm] So, I made friends through that way. I’m still friends with some of them that had gone off to uni or whatever. Who I still sort of keep in touch with today. We sort of had that traumatic experience together. We all lived in the accommodation together. It was a little friendship sort of trauma bond I’d say, we all understood it and helped each other through. That was another big form of support I would say. And even now I’m at university I think my closest friends are the ones who are estranged, or they are care leavers, or have been through that sort of family trauma, whether it’s having a parent with severe mental health illness or it’s those who have also been young carers.
Wren said she trusted her dad for emotional support, but also relied on her personal advisor who was supportive and reliable.
Wren said she trusted her dad for emotional support, but also relied on her personal advisor who was supportive and reliable.
I’d say my dad, but recently I think... I think this whole situation of being in foster care’s... has damaged him more than it’s damaged me. So, like I go to him about my issues in general and he’s always there to support us, So I go to my PA about any issues ’cause he’s obviously within the care system and he’s supportive and reliable, so I’d probably go him as well.
What made someone trustworthy
Young people were clear about what made a relationship feel safe. Trusted people listened, didn’t rely on scripted lines, but paid real attention. They were reliable and consistent, checking in and being there in crises or big life changes. They believed in them, even when the young person doubted themselves. Having shared or lived experience made young people feel understood rather than judged. Trusted people were warm and human, treating them as individuals, not as tasks. For those who had experienced instability or harm before, trust grew from safety and predictability.
Chloe felt workers used phrases from a textbook instead of actually listening, which was hard after having foster carers who genuinely cared.
Chloe felt workers used phrases from a textbook instead of actually listening, which was hard after having foster carers who genuinely cared.
They did what their text-books and their degrees that taught them to. Stuff like you have intervention strategies or your phrases that you say like, ‘I am here for you. I understand it must be difficult.’ And it’s like you don’t. And l’d hear this phrase like twenty times a day, it doesn’t mean anything. You are not listening to me. It kind of felt like you were hitting a brick wall when you needed support, sometimes. So, yeah. That’s why I find it quite difficult as well moving from my foster family because I really felt like they understood me. They, because I was the only child there. I got a lot of one-on-one time and they really focused on my needs and they really listened to me. It was like, if I needed someone, I had them there straight away and going from that, and had, also with my grandpa as well. And then suddenly having nothing, or you had this support here, but it wasn’t really supportive, it was really difficult.
Laks explained that stability is what builds trust with social workers, who are like second parents for young people in care.
Laks explained that stability is what builds trust with social workers, who are like second parents for young people in care.
Oh, it’s so important, like that stability I think is really needed. Like at the end of the day your social worker is basically a second parent to you in many ways and when they’re kind of... sometimes you wouldn’t even know that you were getting a new one, you know and they’d just turn up, and it’s like: “Oh, OK, hi.” And you have to get used to a new person and warm up to them and, you know, you’re basically trusting this person with a massive file which contains your whole life in it. So I think it’s so important, and I think my growth as a person definitely has been the way it has been because of having that stability and social workers, I’d say.
Megan trusted workers who were always there for her, checking in regularly and showing up in crises like real friends (read by an actor).
Megan trusted workers who were always there for her, checking in regularly and showing up in crises like real friends (read by an actor).
So basically, if this organisation didn’t exist, I would be solely... I’d just be fucked, so I’d be on my own. Like it helps ’cause I see my counsellor, she comes to see me once a week. I go to the cafe once every two weeks, and then when there’s like events on, they’ll ask me to come out. And they have like work... workers, so like, I’ll see my mentor, she’s my old social worker, so that helps, I wouldn’t be able to see her without their help.
How often do you see [your mentor]?
So, with us two, ’cause we’re very busy, ’cause we’re like career girlie, do you know what I mean?
Just as and whenever; there’s no limit. Like... it’s like I see my mates, ’cause we’ve done our two years now, so as... and whenever, so I’d say like we try and aim for like once a month, but like... like when I got kicked out, I’d ring her and she’d... like, after work, she’d be like, “Right, and coming and meeting you,” like straightaway, like any friend would, so it’s kinda like that basically. I think they help a lot.
How trusted people supported care leavers
Trusted relationships helped in practical, emotional, and sometimes life-changing ways. Friends, family, and trusted adults were often the first people young people talked to when they needed someone to talk to. Trusted people helped with important steps such as applying for courses, writing personal statements, practising interviews, or building a CV. Some stepped in during crises, offering emotional support, practical help, or simply staying connected. Work colleagues and managers opened doors to new opportunities and helped young people progress in education and employment. Friendships formed through shared experiences in supported housing, college, or care helped young people feel less alone.
Chloe said her tutors were incredibly supportive, always an email away and ready to talk when she needed them.
Chloe said her tutors were incredibly supportive, always an email away and ready to talk when she needed them.
I mean, for me, I was so lucky that sort of my tutor, my director of studies they are incredible and they are so supportive. I could pop them an email and they will jump on a Teams call and I can go and meet them. Just sort of have a nervous breakdown and it’s great. Even when I sort of rusticated, even when the college wasn’t really there for me. My tutors were still like, ’we’re just an email away, you can always speak to us,’ which was really nice.
Dan felt supported by the one social worker who stayed, believed in him, and changed his life for the better.
Dan felt supported by the one social worker who stayed, believed in him, and changed his life for the better.
’cause one thing that’s kept me going through all of uni is the fact that that one person, that one social worker around a normal life, and goes to the shops on the weekend, and goes out to do whatever, and has the same interest, or whatever, had such a change in my life, and made it for the better, that if I do that for one more person, then, you know, it’d be the greatest feeling ever.
Yeah.
And I know it can work because I was a lost cause because of the amount of social workers that claimed I was a lost cause, or claimed that there’s no point doing X-Y-Z with him, because he just won’t do it. She just persevered. She went: “I don’t care about whether you think you can... you can, or can’t, or whether it’s a problem or a waste of time,” and I’m really glad she never gave up on me because I gave up on me a long time ago and she was the only one who actually made me believe in myself, so, yeah.
Winta felt supported by her new social worker, who helped her prepare to study medicine by finding funding to pay for practice exams and attend open days.
Winta felt supported by her new social worker, who helped her prepare to study medicine by finding funding to pay for practice exams and attend open days.
So, after my first social worker, I asked for a change of social workers, so I got a new social worker and she’s really good. She’s really supportive. When she found out I wanted to do medicine and she realised how hard it is, she got me a lot of support. So, there’s something called Virtual School, they helped pay for my UCAT practice. They helped me book my UCAT test ’cause the UCAT is part of the process. So, I think they made it a lot easier for me, and they know a lot more than I do. They helped me like go to open days. They booked my tickets and... yeah, so it wasn’t very hard to go through the process. I’m a bit nervous still, but... yeah.
Why trust mattered to care leavers
Young people often compared trusted relationships with professional support that felt dismissive, scripted, or detached. Some professionals were unavailable or inconsistent, leaving young people to cope alone. Trusted people made care leavers feel heard, cared for, and understood as individuals. These relationships helped them feel more capable, more stable, and better prepared for adulthood.
Fiyori said a trusted adult supported her to go out, build confidence, and make progress in just a few months (read by an actor).
Fiyori said a trusted adult supported her to go out, build confidence, and make progress in just a few months (read by an actor).
I was for a short period of time, but she helped me a lot. With those like four months and five months, she... she doesn’t just show me, she will take me out one day, she was a kind of person like she push me because she saw me: I was... I’m not that confident, but the thing about me is I don’t have confidence that much, and when she see that, she’ll be like... for example, when I go out, she will take me one day, and next time: “Here you go, go by yourself.” At first, I would refuse and I would just say, “No, I don’t want to go out,” she will tell me: “Go out.” Then even for four months, I would like er progress well, so she helped me a lot as well.
Lilah said a stable, long-term home helped her feel safe, supported, and part of the family.
Lilah said a stable, long-term home helped her feel safe, supported, and part of the family.
Well, I mean I’ve been with them for quite a while, I’ve been with them pretty much all of my care experience, so... But I mean there was a time where, when I first came to live with them, that I immediately said I didn’t wanna stay here and was gonna try to runaway and leave again. But I was told “no”, and I ended up just staying because it made me realise there wasn’t really a point and like it wasn’t good for me to jump from one place to the next all the time, [erm] and it wasn’t bad here, so it’s... it’s been nice being here. My carers have got young children, so it was nice seeing them grow up and being part of the family as well, ’cause I’m all they’ve ever known really. So, it’s... it’s... yeah, it’s stable. I now fit into the family, which is nice to know. Like it’s stable in a way that means that I can kind of shut off everything else that’s going on family‑wise a lot of the time and just be here and in my room, and just focus on my own path, I guess.
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