Care leavers’ transitions to independence

I’m much more visual. Like I massively struggled because like when I was going into uni, I had the motivation to go because I had a reason to go, like if I needed to go... if I needed to go the library, I could use whatever sources from the library, and the library was also where I would go when I was having relationship difficulties. Obviously that was... that was taken away. My ex... like my ex-partner was a [health professional], so she was at the hospital, but then obviously when she came back from the hospital it’s like I didn’t really want to... because she’s been around it, so I wouldn’t want to... so we were isolating from each other despite living in the same... in the same place, and it just... Yeah, and it just... yeah, I’m... because I’m more of... like I said, I’m much more of a visual learner: I’d rather have stuff in front of me. Online, it’s literally a case of: ‘ah, well, we’ll just put it up online, you can do it’, and it just... I found that there wasn’t really any motivation for me, even though it was my final year and it should have motivated me – it didn’t. 

So, I had to go back to that school, which they... they were great at the time, but then obviously when it came to results day I really... my view changed on them completely, it was like I couldn’t believe they’d done it to me. I was literally crying on results day and things anyways. So I got them to book the resits, ’cause the Government set up that scheme to do a resit. I then resat History. I got... where they gave me a 2, I got a 5.  It still wasn’t as good as I could have got, but with... and obviously I didn’t get any extra education or anything.

They were a bit funny when I asked them for the text books so I can actually revise, and then they did give me a copy though, lended me a copy, I would have given it back, so it wasn’t like I...I weren’t really bothered about keeping their text book, I just wanted to try and self-learn and go in and actually be able to do a good job. So then, yeah, I got a 5 there.  English Language: they gave me a 4, and I got a 6.  Maths: they gave me a 4, I got a 6,  and there was another one, I can’t remember. But... yeah.  I... that was just to show that obviously if I got a 6 and that was without any tutors, without any private tuition, without me being in a classroom, if I hadn’t been moved, I do think I would have got them 7s and 8s that I was predicted.

— for a fact. And then I did get three A‑levels, so I got  distinction star in Health and Social Care. Distinction star in Applied Law, and then I got a B in Criminology.

I mean during Covid there was no mummy groups and things like that, so that was really hard, especially as a first-time mum, and going into appointments without anyone else, because I couldn’t have her father there or my support worker there because it was only one person, so that was really difficult. I didn’t find I got any support with that though. And, yeah, it just felt very lonely, there should have been more that was online and stuff. But yeah, what do you do? 
 
Yeah. I mean did it eventually go online or... or anything: what happened there, did... no? 
 
No, not that I was aware of, no. 
 
No? 
 
Nothing was really accessible. 
 
Oh, OK.— 
 
There were home visits, if I did any health visits, they were at home. 

The pandemic was awful. I mean, for everybody, everyone was sort of having negative experiences. But I think especially for people sort of living in supported accommodation or without their family support. It was horrible. I mean, it’s just you were essentially left on your own. Especially with the lockdown having to stay isolated, not being allowed to leave for more than sort of sixty minutes of a day. We didn’t have a garden. It was just a flat. It was like being trapped in a room like this and you couldn’t leave for six months on end. I mean, it drove you crazy. Quite literally some people in some senses. I mean, like I said, there were sixty people in the building and sort of if you left your room and you stood at the end of the corridor talking to another person, security would come up and tell you to go back in your room. 

So I was preparing with my dad like from obviously the age of 16 and I started sneaking out and seeing him, and when I had... I remember the day, I went to my dad’s home for the first time, and it was just like, right... I’d... like from the start it was I would always talk about moving in with my dad when I turned 18 and I pretty much dreamed for the day to happen ’cause I’d have all the freedom I could ever want, and then Covid hit and that was just an absolute nightmare, it was just... oh, it just crushed everything. But I had ended up moving in with my dad for about a year and then I started university and moved to [city] for my degree, ah, yeah. 

Basically I... around that time, social services started putting this thing in place where I would go to my dad’s like twice, like... like every fortnight for one night a week I’d stay over his so I could get prepared for moving in with him. Everything was great, and I’d see him ev... pretty much every day anyway, you know, if he wasn’t at work, and that that stopped and I... that did like put a lot of damage on my mental health. Obviously Dad’s the most important person in my life, you know, and it’s... it just broke us when I couldn’t see him.

Yeah. 

So young people would go there quite a lot. Sometimes we’d go there to see our leaving care workers, but sometimes you’d just go there for a chat. You know, like the receptionist that worked there, she’s absolutely adored by young people, like everyone loves her. She knows most of the young people. She’s been a receptionist there for I think at least a couple of decades, so she’s seen most of us grow up, and so she... sometimes people will just go to the office just to chat to her. 
 
Yeah. 
 
But also there was a leaving care manager who passed away, so there’s like a little memorial for him and there’s a memorial for a care leaver who died, so there’s like a little memorial garden, so sometimes people would go there to see that. But you can’t... you can’t go to any of that now. It’s gone from being very much like a safe place and a hub that people could go to, to now being something that’s completely off limits to us. 

Yeah, support has changed. A lot of people are finding it more difficult to get in touch with the support networks. There is... there’s been some people that I know where their PAs have not returned from the pandemic and so they’ve been allocated a new one. And I got allocated a new one as well and, you know, because mine left and it just... When new ones are being brought in and you’ve got all the... they’re trying to catch up with everybody, and I think a lot of it is obviously with my PA, I’m older, so I’m probably not as... which is fine with me, I’m not really that arsed like if she puts a younger one before me – that’s fine – but there’s times when like... if, you know, if I am struggling and I need her and then it’s: “OK, so, oh, well, I only work part-time,” or, “I’m really busy until this day,” and then this day comes along and it’s like, “Oh, well, can we push it back a little bit?” or... 
 
OK. It sounds like they’re not available as much for some reason. 
 
I think a lot of them are taking on... there’s a much higher caseload. And that I see it, I see it with the job that I do as well, when you’ve got... you’ve got like... you’ve got the young people of [local authority], and then you’ve got all... with everything with the asylum seekers, and then there’s been other... so like there’s been issues where like... you know, [City] council have gone bust, so then authorities are helping out with that and there’s a lot of work and not a lot of time. 

But it was tricky because there was support put in place in terms of like shopping centres for people who were like elderly, or healthcare workers and things, but being a young person with a physical health issue, it made it difficult because I couldn’t get like the early access to the shops and things to get things before everyone else. So... and with my disabilities it was like, it was harder to be walking around a lot and standing and waiting in queues to get into shops and things. So that was something that was quite tricky that social services also didn’t really know how to manage.

Well, absolutely, long term, yeah, even though it could be a short-term thing for people, and they should have been being more checked on during that time because the isolation does have a massive effect. But I think it’s still long term, and people forget that, and they’re not still talking about it and they’re not still... like, I think the mental health decline has been massive; yeah, it’s still ongoing now. 
 
Yeah. And so do you feel like anything positive has come out of that period? 
 
Not for care leavers, I’ve got to say I don’t see anything positive coming out of that. 
 
Uh-huh, OK. Do you feel like— 
 
A lot of people suffer from more anxiety and stuff. 

No, I, I just... I didn’t get anything, I didn’t even get any support from work, that’s why XXXX like as soon as the whole pandemic was over and people started coming back off from Covid and like illness and stuff like that, then work kind of treated me like: ‘oh, right, we’ll just put you on du-du-du-du.’

And we weren’t... they never appreciated what I did for them, and they never gave any support for the stuff... any of us... sort of like the amount of times my colleagues would just break down crying and you just have to give them a hug because someone they’ve known for six years has just died, ha, like they don’t become your residents that you look after, after a point they become just lovely little old people that you go and see and just help try and make their lives the best it possibly can be. And it’s absolutely heartbreaking for a lot of them, and we just didn’t get any support from work. We didn’t...

And then I didn’t get any support from social services… and to be fair, I think mainly it was because that resilience and that ‘got to be brave’ and you’ve got to pretend these things didn’t affect you… and again, like saying out loud to you now, makes me feel like ‘shit, that does seem quite like a lot’ and I’ve still not dealt with it. I mean, there’s been times where I’ve just randomly started crying like months and years after, and I’ve not understood why, but that’s just what happens. You don’t deal with half of these things ’cause you’ve got no time, ha, like I can’t stop. If I stop right now, then I don’t have any money for the job, and I don’t finish uni, and I don’t get my sort of essay due, and I don’t finish my assignment, and I don’t go to work on time, and I can’t stop and breathe and you know... I feel like I never will be able to.