Alex
Alex had a plan in place to help him prepare for leaving care, but chose to stop it at the time. Although he had a good relationship with his long-term social worker, he found the pathway planning meetings difficult and not suited to his needs. Looking back, he wishes someone had explained how important that support would be for his future. When it was time to leave care, Alex was given just one day’s notice to pack up and move. He did not know where he was going or that the move would be permanent. He was not prepared to live alone and had to teach himself how to cook and manage money using YouTube videos. He now has a supportive personal advisor who stays in regular contact, but most of what Alex knows about living independently, he had to figure out on his own.
Alex is a White British man who spent most of his life in the care system. He has recently left his foster family to live independently. Clips are read by an actor.
More about me...
I speak to my siblings every day, and we’re really close. I’m also part of a care leavers’ support group that I know I can turn to when things get tough, whether I need advice, practical help, or just someone who understands. Having that community has made a big difference, especially after feeling like I had to learn so much on my own. I didn’t always have the support I needed during my transition out of care, but I’ve since built a strong network of people around me who I trust. I now want to help other care leavers feel less alone. I try to share what I’ve learned – the things I wish someone had told me earlier – and I believe having people who genuinely listen and care can make all the difference.
Alex’s pathway plan was called a Personal Independence Plan, but he asked for it to be stopped because he didn’t like the meetings (read by an actor).
Alex’s pathway plan was called a Personal Independence Plan, but he asked for it to be stopped because he didn’t like the meetings (read by an actor).
OK, so I had a pathway plan and a... is it... is it PIP? Yeah, so you call it an independent plan, we call it a Personal Independent Plan; they’re more or less the same, but... yeah. I did have one of them, yes; however, I requested mine to be stopped, which was before I left the... the care team. Does that make sense?
OK. So, you asked them to stop it, but—
Yes.
—what was the reason behind that again?
Because as a kid, I hated interviews; I hated meetings.
Alex said he cancelled his meetings with professionals because sitting still was hard for him with ADHD, and they didn’t adapt to his needs (read by an actor).
Alex said he cancelled his meetings with professionals because sitting still was hard for him with ADHD, and they didn’t adapt to his needs (read by an actor).
So, did you not, like, get on with your... whoever it was, social worker, personal advisor?
No, it was... it wasn’t really that. It was more for... more of a case of I wasn’t really a fan of meetings. I was a very ADHD kinda kid.
So, I never wanted to sit down, I just always had to be up and moving; however, that wasn’t very helpful because every time I would... would, say, stand up and walk around, and whatnot, they’d get upset and angry, and obviously I can’t control what I do and don’t do. I can’t control that I walk around.
So, to stop them all screaming at me, I just decided: ‘enough is enough, I’m in charge of my own life, I’m gonna go do... I’m gonna cancel this and I’m gonna do it my way,’ which I did.
Alex said he was given a booklet about the local offer, but he’s not a reading guy. He thought using games or videos would be a better way to tell young people about support (read by an actor).
Alex said he was given a booklet about the local offer, but he’s not a reading guy. He thought using games or videos would be a better way to tell young people about support (read by an actor).
I’m fully aware of that, even my care leaver offer.
OK. And how... how are you told or informed?
That came in the... that came in the book... that came with the booklet I got when I left and became a... well, I hit 18, really.
Oh, OK, so they gave you a booklet?
Yeah.
OK. Ha... did you find... what, was that helpful for you, or did you feel like...?
I mean I’m not a reading guy. So, I... off the top of my head, I read the first page and I went: ‘oh, OK,’ but it was... it was fairly interesting, the first word was, yeah,
OK. Do you think that that’s the best way for care leavers to sort of read the... to get that information?
Yes, ’cause a lot of people like reading. I’m just a guy that will look at something and go: ‘unless that has something interesting on it, I’m not reading it.’
Mm, OK. So how would you... what would be easier for you to... to get that info?
Put it in a film.
Something you can watch?
Yeah, put it in a film or a game; I’ll be interested then.
Alex was told he would be moving the day before his 18th birthday, so spent the day packing instead of celebrating (read by an actor).
Alex was told he would be moving the day before his 18th birthday, so spent the day packing instead of celebrating (read by an actor).
Well, for starters, my... the issue I had was the fact that I... I would... so at... at exactly the age of... exactly at the age of 18, I was requested to be moved, and honestly, that kinda put me in as a technicality because I wasn’t aware that I was being moved on that... on my 18th birthday. So, I was stuck between an issue of: ‘right, I’m being moved, but I don’t know where, I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know how long.’
When were you told?
And it ended up... The day before.
So, I wasn’t... I wasn’t very impressed with that because it meant that I also had to pack everything I owned, up, within... well, within a day.
And what really annoyed me is no one wants to go packing on their 18th birthday. Do you know what I mean? That’s... that’s the day I will go out and get absolutely hammered at a pub.
But I couldn’t because I was too busy having to pack all of my items up, which really did infuriate me a lot.
Alex focused on getting through each day rather than worrying about the future (read by an actor).
Alex focused on getting through each day rather than worrying about the future (read by an actor).
OK. Well, I’m hoping to be able to get out of bed without rolling myself out of bed – that’d be brilliant – but obviously, at the moment it’s just the case of: I... I don’t really pay attention to what I need to do in the future; I pay attention to what needs to be done here and now, because if I worry about the future, I’ll lose track of what today is, and I’ll lose track of what I need to do today. So, tomorrow’s issue is tomorrow’s; today’s issue, is today.
Alex appreciated the free food he received for attending his local leaving care group (read by an actor).
Alex appreciated the free food he received for attending his local leaving care group (read by an actor).
I’m in the Leaving and After Care team, which is one massive support group.
OK. And how are you finding that one?
Absolute win: I get free food every time I show up. [laughs]
Oh, nice. OK.
Yeah.
Do you feel like you’re able to like talk with other people there and, like, you know...?
Yes, if I need... if I need to talk to someone, they will be there, a hundred percent.
Oh, OK. So how often do they meet?
OK, so due to funding technicalities, we meet every, once a month; however, it used to be every other week.
Oh, OK. So it’s unfortunately become once a month?
Yes.
OK. And are you... is that in person or is that like an online thing?
In person.
In person, OK. OK. And it sounds like you get free stuff, which sounds nice.
Yeah. I like free food, you see. Plus you never... I will... you’ll never catch me in a million years saying no to food.
Alex felt the system didn’t understand his ADHD, and meetings weren’t accessible for him (read by an actor).
Alex felt the system didn’t understand his ADHD, and meetings weren’t accessible for him (read by an actor).
I wasn’t really a fan of meetings. I was a very ADHD kinda kid.
So, I never wanted to sit down, I just always had to be up and moving; however, that wasn’t very helpful because every time I would... would, say, stand up and walk around, and whatnot, they’d get upset and ad-gee, and obviously I can’t control what I do and don’t do. I can’t control that I walk around.
So, to stop them all screaming at me, I just decided: ‘enough is enough, I’m in charge of my own life, I’m gonna go do... I’m gonna cancel this and I’m gonna do it my way,’ which I did.
Alex appreciated his personal adviser messaging him most mornings.
Alex appreciated his personal adviser messaging him most mornings.
I am meeting my PA every, once a week. So, every... yeah.
OK. So how is that relationship?
That’s pretty good, to be fair. I mean we... we laugh, we have... we have a chat. I mean, she does her job and I do mine, huh.
I mean, are you asking for any support from her, or anything else?
I... well, I’m, not at the moment, but when I say she is there, she is a hundred percent on board with what I need help with, all the time.
But she... it sounds like she checks up on you quite a lot, so, you know, you can ask—?
Yeah, I’ll probably receive a... I’ll almost most likely receive a message almost every single morning from my PA just checking up on me.
Oh, OK, OK. And does that feel supportive to you, or are... or does it feel like, you know, I don’t know, annoy... irritating or something, or whatever?
I just... I’m not overly fussed because for me, [erm] obviously, as I said earlier, I live on my own, so the people that live in the house with me, aren’t really... I’m not very well acquainted with them.
So obviously communication with people I know is brilliant because I... as you’ll soon realise, I love to chat. [laughs]
So yeah, I love it.