Anne
Anne, aged 78, likes having time to herself but also enjoys seeing her granddaughter who visits each week. She also meets up with friends when she can. As Anne lives near a racecourse, she enjoys the lively atmosphere and looking at racegoers’ outfits.
Anne has noticed a decline in her memory over recent years but does not have a dementia diagnosis. She is widowed and has two sons and one daughter. Anne lives alone in her own home which looks out onto a large green space in a city.
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Anne’s concerns about her memory have developed over a few years. She initially thought that her forgetfulness was just related to getting older and that her friends were having similar problems. Since then, though, she has started forgetting names and feels overwhelmed with daily life so she has become more concerned. Anne thinks it may be time to speak to her GP about this. Anne’s family and friends are aware of her memory problems and try to deal with it in a light-hearted way.
Technology is a particular challenge for Anne and she feels left behind by it. She keeps a diary which she writes in every day and ticks off tasks when they have been done. Her daughter arranged for some of Anne’s bills to be paid online but Anne gets other bills by post so that she can deal with them herself because she doesn’t want to lose her independence. Anne joined a technology support group but didn’t find it helpful as when she got home from each class, she would forget what she had been taught.
Day to day, Anne enjoys keeping her house clean and tidy, decorating, and looking after the garden. She often goes to the local butchers and bakery and walks around the nearby racecourse. As Anne used to live in a quiet village, she likes that she is now able to watch people walking to and from the races and having fun. She sometimes visits the cinema and the theatre with her friends or meets them in town. Anne looks forward to seeing her youngest grandchild twice a week, after school. Although Anne has tried going to social groups like the Women’s Institute, she didn’t enjoy them. She feels that her life is full enough and after losing her husband, prefers her own company.
Anne has learnt to enjoy the good days.
Anne has learnt to enjoy the good days.
Because I had so many shocks in life, I feel I’ve got to be ready for them [laughter] but I’ve realised that you just have to enjoy the day at the time – no use being miserable thinking what might happen, you’ve just got to, you know; had a lovely day yesterday over there and that was great, you know.
So, enjoy each day as it comes kind of thing?
Mm, it’s hard to do that really, you know, because you’re used to planning things and it feels a bit out of control in a way. But yeah, you’ve just got to enjoy it when it’s good and not get yourself ready for the bad [laughs] because you might not be here anyway [laughs].
Anne shares happy memories of her mother.
Anne shares happy memories of her mother.
My mother in, she was wonderful, she lived till ninety-three, and she loved cakes and cream [laughs] she was; well we had a bakery shop.
Ooh.
And she was a marvellous cook, mm. She loved cream cakes and Mars bars; I used to take her to the supermarkets when she was older and she’d say to the checkout girl, “I don’t know if I should have these,” Mars bars going through [laughs] and I said, “I think you’re ninety-two, I don’t think you should stop now really.” [Laughs].
Anne is enjoying her new community.
Anne is enjoying her new community.
Yes, I often walk round there, and he’s very friendly, and the older lady in the bread shop’s very friendly. Yes, I had a good chat to [proprietor] as well one day, because my mum and I had a cake shop, a bit bigger than that with a bakery, little bakery at the back, and I was telling him all about it, because he’s been there a long time.
It seems like a, a community round here rather than.
Well, it is, but there again, like the village, I suppose I’ve come in and I’m the new one; there is a WhatsApp group. You know, that’s on here and they say different things, you know.
So, you’re part of that are you?
I am, yes, but I’ve not been involved yet because there seem to be three or four that are just on it all the time about nothing in particular [laughs] you know, so you can’t respond to that at all. I’ve tried on one or two occasions.
That must be quite helpful though, or reassuring to know that.
Oh yes, well there was one instance, I think that was after Christmas, and I just, and I thought I’m going to put on it, and I’ve got a log burner and there were logs in the car, and I just put “not feeling so well today, could somebody lift the logs out of the car for me?” And within five/ten minutes a young man came.
He’s just round the corner, and he came up and lifted the logs out for me, and he was just charming and so friendly.
Anne feels left behind by technology.
Anne feels left behind by technology.
Does, do you pay your bills online or they come through?
No, I can’t do anything technical like that; that’s a big thing that worries me, people try to explain or tell me, I’ve been to a few classes, but my brain just won’t take it in, I can’t understand any of it. I think I’m frightened of it as well, especially where money’s concerned; I do worry about money. So, most of the bills are, are, are direct debit, you know, gas and electric and that sort of thing. My daughter’s put some of the bills on her whatever, computer [laughs] but I don’t particularly like that because I like to be in charge, I suppose [laughs] I’ve always done it and I feel stupid now that I can’t, I can’t do that sort of thing. So, I still use cheques if I pay anybody, or I get cash out to give to people, you know, like trades people, yeah, mm.
You know, I have a six-year-old granddaughter and I couldn’t do something with this iPhone the other day and she’s just like that [I laughs] you know, you feel stupid, and you don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s like living in a country where everyone’s speaking a different language; I find that very hard.