Peter
After a delay due to Covid-19, Peter was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He is determined to be positive and live well with his memory problems. Peter feels that his dementia may be linked to hearing problems after working at a noisy concert venue.
Peter, aged 72, is a retired hospitality manager and lives with his wife. He has always enjoyed researching his family history but since struggling with his memory, he has found it harder to hold the information in mind when searching online.
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When Peter was first diagnosed with dementia, he was given a lot of information. When he started reading about his possible future symptoms, he found that upsetting so didn’t read any further. He feels he is ready to think more about his future now.
One of the recommendations after his diagnosis was to try going to a dementia support group. He did go along to one but didn’t find it very helpful as felt it was more aimed at people in the later stages of dementia and he still doesn’t feel comfortable with group situations following the Covid-19 pandemic. Peter still drives but doesn’t feel as confident with it anymore so doesn’t go very far. He enjoys time in the garden with his wife but needs to be reminded of tasks.
If you don’t understand something, Peter says, go back and ask.
If you don’t understand something, Peter says, go back and ask.
Keep an open mind, ask all the questions you want to ask and make sure that you’ve listened to and understood the answers, and if you haven’t got the whole information, go back and ask again and don’t be frightened of doing it, which is, is always what I’ve done really, that; you don’t, you don’t know if you don’t ask [laughs].
I mean you make a good point, you know, sort of make, make sure that you understand what people, because it, when, when that information’s being thrown at you it’s difficult to sort of take it all in isn’t it?
Yes. I have to say I’ve been talking to [wife] about it; I, I can’t remember [laughs] because I’ve got a memory problem, is my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
Peter has to work at making visual connections to remember things.
Peter has to work at making visual connections to remember things.
I do, we do have reminders set, we have Alexa that we can, that I can use, but the more [sighs] immediate things, it tends to be the immediate things when I can’t whip the notebook out. But I may have to get used to the idea of having a notebook and doing that. But I mean I have, I have tried and some [sighs] I mean it, I find it a little bit weird [sighs] I mean it’s small, not small things, but, when we do, when we’re out in the garden doing gardening, when I cut the grass, I have to move pots and things to cut the grass. [Wife] keeps telling me off for not putting them back. And I did it one afternoon and in the evening, I saw her putting it back and I felt so ashamed that I hadn’t done it. That had far better effect than her saying anything to me. Now I don’t do it anymore, I hope [laughs] because it’s in there, it’s in my brain, in the holding capacity. So, I’ve got better at that [laughs] but that doesn’t stop me forgetting other things, but…
No, but that’s a good example, isn’t it?
Yeah.
Because, like you were saying, you can use a notebook or Alexa or whatever to do reminders for appointments or maybe taking tablets or something like that, you know, those things that you can predict, but something like “I’ve moved that pot and I’ve got to put it back in a minute” that’s very instant isn’t it? And those are the things that you; it’s no good writing it down, is it?
You’ve got to relate it to something else; you’ve got to remember that you’ve moved it to put it, to put it back and if you’re not looking, if I’m not looking; so now, now the pressure, it’s not particularly pressure, now the position is that I don’t want to upset [Wife] so I’m going to look and make sure I’ve put it back. He says, [laughs] touch wood.
The memory services gave Peter written information and a list of support services.
The memory services gave Peter written information and a list of support services.
So, when they sort of told you that, was there any, was there any information that came with that, any maybe support or suggestions as to where you might get some help or?
Yes, absolutely; after, after the diagnosis then they told me all about the local support groups, was, was given lots of reading material; I’m afraid to say that I haven’t read the, the big one about all the problems I’m liable to meet in the future but I, I will get down to it. I just got so depressed after page 30 I thought I’d put it to one side and I haven’t picked it up again and I should. The, but yes, and, and been along to one of the local meetings and I guess that was sort of a, a bit of a wake-up call in the sense that I could see where I was, with what, whatever condition I have got, and I’ve got to accept I’ve got Alzheimer’s, although it might not be, but that’s a very little might not be, and at this particular point I’m fairly, I’m still fairly independent, fairly, I can do things myself.
And, yes, of course I should react, yes, of course I should respond in case it is, it would be daft to sit and do nothing at, at this particular point. So been following the advice. I really did stop reading it at page 30, and I know it was page 30 [laughs] because I was getting too depressed. I’m probably that bit further now, I’m about two or three months away from reading that information; it’s probably time to sit down and read the rest of it because I’m a bit more at ease with the consequences.
Peter’s computer skills are good but the device is old and can’t be used for video calling.
Peter’s computer skills are good but the device is old and can’t be used for video calling.
I mean do you, have you, you know, during Covid and things have you used online, Zoom-type things or?
I have but I’m sorry to say my computer’s getting quite old and I’m a bit wary about using it for things that it might not, it might not cope with, but.
Holding onto information became a struggle for Peter.
Holding onto information became a struggle for Peter.
Now, now you’ve started me. One of the things; this was; oh right, yeah, yeah. This was one of, one of the things also that sparked my willingness to, to go and get tested, one of my pastimes was researching my family history and I’d been doing it for about ten years, and started off doing it on the internet, because I was doing it sort of weekends, evenings and, and whilst I was working I really didn’t have time to go shooting off all over the country looking at, looking at records, so it was all done on the internet; and I hadn’t really realised whilst I was doing it that you actually have to have a pretty reasonable memory to hold in your head the information that’s going to match you to an ancestor. You’ve got to think about where they were born, obviously who their parents were or where they’d come from and that the, all the dates were relevant, and there’s quite, there’s actually quite a lot you have to remember just if you’re researching just one person, never mind two or three in the same family. And I was really struggling to do it using my computer and I thought this is, this is a bit odd, a bit strange, I haven’t had this before.