Interview 45
Symptoms began just before moving from long term family home to smaller house. Initially cared for at home with carers coming to the house, attended day centre with weeks in residential respite. Complaints from neighbours. Now in residential care.
Elderly husband caring for wife. They have 1 child. Diagnosed in 2000. Patient was a retired industrial nurse.
More about me...
While he struggles to dress his wife he reflects on what her feelings might be about her total dependency.
While he struggles to dress his wife he reflects on what her feelings might be about her total dependency.
They will resist putting in their legs in something or putting their underwear on or putting their top on. Resist every item in the daily routine of getting dressed. But, I think it is sometimes they feel frustrated in the fact that they are not, I think they have moments of, they're brain beginning to work in the distant past and they've been holding jobs of responsibility and here they are being dictated to, being told to do this and told to do that, and persuaded to do this and that as opposed to giving out any of their orders, you know.
I think with [my wife] there were moments, very rarely but moments when it was frustration because they couldn't do what they really wanted to do. They didn't even know what they wanted to do but they were, frustrated because they couldn't do it, you know. If you couldn't turn the tap off for instance. Or if you couldn't do the simplest of jobs, blow a nose, for instance. You couldn't, she couldn't blow her own nose.
She'd try but couldn't really do it, just a like child. I think they must get frustration and just flash moments when you know everybody I think gets, when you're frustrated you can't, when you, you're trying to, you know you can do something or feel you should be able to do something and you can't, you know.
Describes the loneliness he experiences now his wife is no longer at home with him.
Describes the loneliness he experiences now his wife is no longer at home with him.
And then, as I say I'm getting a lot of help, but I don't see the carers any more now, now that [my wife]'s in full time care they have, have more on their workload with people who really need their help and there's no aid needed for their, any further showering and etc like that. So I'm just left now with the lady coming today who is a psychiatric nurse for the area who's going to just have a general chat and see if I'm OK and then I'll be on my own. But, unless I need some help, that is.
Believes the medical profession has some obligation towards those they cared for but in reality sees little of this.
Believes the medical profession has some obligation towards those they cared for but in reality sees little of this.
Actually it's, not only, not Power of Attorney only it's Court of Protection. I left it too long to get Power of Attorney and the solicitor couldn't agree that she could sign her name properly. So I had to get, the thing dealt with by the Court of Protection, which took, which took a year instead of a month. They're terribly, oh it's, they, a lot of blue, an awful lot of red tape with them.
However, I'm, I'm empowered to wind up her estate and put the money into a new account. And I can actually pay the bills for [my wife] from our own finances rather than mine which brings quite a lot of paperwork into it but it does mean that in the end with her, when her finances are down to £18000 the Council will have to put their hands in their pocket to pay the fees which are pretty exorbitant.
About £3000 a year, no, I'm sorry. They're £600 a week, that's 32, 33000 and the Council will have to put their hands in their pocket for some of that quite soon if, if our capital falls below 18000. It's going to take a little while. In the meantime I pay it all.