Positive change over time

Many parents talked about the ways in which their children changed over time. Some parents of grown up children remarked that their children’s achievements far exceeded their expectations. For example a 19-year-old girl, diagnosed with autism when she was five, had gone through school, done some GCSE’s and three years at a college of further education. Her parents could go to a nearby pub for about an hour and leave their daughter at home watching a DVD. Parents talked about their children becoming calmer and less fearful as they grew older.

Some parents linked this to the development of their children’s understanding and improved concentration so that they could explain things to their children or prepare them more effectively for change. One parent commented: ‘he understands the word ‘no’ now’ and this had led to fewer tantrums.

Having a baby nephew has been an enriching experience for Rosies son.

Age at interview 53

Gender Female

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Brian is doing incredibly at an autism initiative day centre where he goes five days a week.

Gender Female

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Mary-Ann has found some things have become easier such as her son learning not to shout at people…

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

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John and Lynne recall a funny experience and think that Gavin has fewer tantrums now.

Age at interview 60

Gender Male

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One mother was delighted that her sons had started fighting because that was ‘a normal thing to do’ while another couple talked about how they were less worried about going out now because of their son was less likely to ‘make a fuss’. These improvements were sometimes linked to particular changes in the children’s lives such as changing schools, being removed from school, starting at a residential school, moving to a different village, or having some form of therapy (see ‘Types of schooling‘, ‘Therapies‘, ‘Medical and dietary interventions‘).

Parents noticed visible improvements when their children were in settings more appropriate for them.

Mikes son has made astounding progress at a residential school for children on the autism…

Age at interview 55

Gender Male

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Jonathan has made substantial progress since Daniel started to home-school him.

Gender Male

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Some parents also felt that they had changed in the ways in which they viewed their children and in the way they approached things like going out. As one mother said; ‘at the end of the day, they are just your kids and you kind of get used to the fact that it’s not as bad as that’. Another mother said ‘nothing is as bad as you fear.’ A few parents of older children reflected on how scientific and social understanding of autism had improved over the years which in turn made individual improvements more possible.

Nicki now feels that there is no knowing what the future holds for her son, he has made such good…

Age at interview 32

Gender Male

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Jacqui describes how the autism spectrum is not stagnant and children move along it, doing the…

Gender Female

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While challenges remained, the interviews with parents showed that their children had experienced positive changes in their lives over time. They had learned different communication and social skills, and begun to sleep for longer. Parents had also learned to deal with things differently as they adapted and adjusted to living with autism. Some of these issues are discussed further in ‘Messages to parents.

Employment and finances

Many parents' working lives had been affected by their experiences of having responsibility for caring for a child/ren on the autism spectrum. Several mothers had...

Growing up

Transition periods, such as puberty or transition to adulthood, can introduce new challenges to many children, young people and families. The parents we interviewed discussed...