Having a sibling on the autism spectrum

Well it’s not just thinking about yourself. You’re always having to think about somebody else as well. Not always in a positive way [laughs]. Not just thinking about making sure their needs are met, but also making sure they don’t, thinking about what they’re, what they’re inclined to do, and making sure that’s not going to disrupt your life too much. So you’re always conscious of that at the same time as you’re dealing with your own life because you always have to remember to put some of your things away that he might want to come and fiddle with or break or something. It’s that sort of thing. You’re always having to bear that in mind. So there’s always the two things to think about. And everybody else probably just had the one. 

It’s not bad, it’s just different. It just takes a little bit more thinking about and preparing to do things than I think it would normally. I’m not going to say it’s incredibly rewarding, because I’m sure it’s rewarding for other people that have siblings too. My relationship with my brother’s rewarding, but I think that’s because it’s my relationship with my brother, it’s not a relationship with my autistic brother, but yes it’s just different. It takes a little bit more time. It takes a little bit more planning. And it’s certainly not positive or negative; it’s just a thing that happens.

I’d just say I just want to talk to one person. I want to have some, a lot, a good chunk of time and to be able to go into as much detail as I want. And I think currently I know him the best, so listen, you know, listen to me, and open up your wallets really [laughs].

Well the first thing I’d say, is, “Are you being serious about helping?” [small laugh]. Because we’ve been so much, you know, where people have said, “Yeah, we’ll help you, and nothing’s been done. So obviously you’d make sure that they want to help, but, you know, just to look at [brother’s name], [brother’s name] as an individual not a group of Asperger people, what they think they might need, because they’ll all different. So as long as they look at [brother’s name] as a person and look at his specification, like what he likes and what he doesn’t like, and what he can cope with, and his anxiety levels, and if they can work around that, and then find him something that he can do, then yeah, that’d be good. Just to get him out of the house, really have a purpose to get up. Because he gets up at whatever time he wants really. You know, he doesn’t lie in bed till like one o’clock in the afternoon, but, you know, half nine, ten o’clock, you know, where he could be in a job or college or something. He isn’t. So as long as there’s a purpose to get up in the morning, you know, feel good about himself that he is alive. He’s healthy, you know, he’s a healthy boy, but he’s just got a condition which stops him doing so much and it’s really sad.