Jeff
So, I approached our local GP and set up an appointment to see them, and they recommended us to the local memory clinic. They started to… an assessment programme, but this was just at the start of the pandemic, so what they said would be an 18 week assessment, turned out to be 19 months.

Mary
And eventually, she was referred to a, eventually referred to a dementia consultant and eventually they managed to, they, they see the effect on the brain and that was the point at which she was diagnosed with dementia, early onset dementia at the age of 50, which was probably four years after we all knew that something was very seriously wrong.

Carol
I mean, I think couple of weeks ago he phoned me to say I was standing in front of him and I said no, I’m at home. And then he said there was a lady in his place with a black shawl so, yeah, it’s strange, very strange, really. I don’t know if he realises he’s imagining it or not, really. …Because it must be quite scary if you’re actually think you’re seeing someone in your home and it’s not, you know, they aren’t really there.

Johnny
And of course, my mobility’s not been… so if I see… and [name] goes in the kitchen, I’ve got to get up, so if we was getting up here, now I… I’ve got to do… that… that’s getting up, you know, so, I’m not as bad as that once I move… if you move backwards and forwards and I’m not as bad as that, but that… that’s… you know, I’m not… not kidding when that’s getting up and down.

Keith
I probably only saw him up to five times while he was there because of being restricted and the care home itself having lockdowns, so people couldn’t go.

Neil
So, I took her to one side, she was the senior nurse on, shut the door of the office, and I said, “Now look here,” and I give her a right earwigging, and I said, “you… I’m paying a lot of money for this, you need to make sure: a) he’s dressed properly, b) he’s got his teeth in,” I said, “and if you don’t start to do this,” I said, “there’s going to be serious consequences, it’s no good telling me he don’t eat, and if you’re not putting his teeth in, how can he eat if he hasn’t got his teeth in?”

But yes, after we had a deep meaningful discussion, things did improve, and on the whole the care was very good.

Jenny
I can’t just take over and say, ‘we’re doing this because I’ve said so,’ you know, she has a… and maybe it will come to that, but again, it’s doing it sort of with kindness and it’s getting the balance between wants and needs, and you… and you need to try and balance that. You know, I can see what she might need, but is that what she wants?

Jazz
And I think this is what cultural competency is about, it’s not about being an expert about everybody’s culture, but it’s having an understanding of what’s important to people. And so, what does it mean you know to be Roman Catholic? What does it mean to Muslim? What does it mean to be you know Christian or of a particular denomination? What does that mean and how does it playout in the everyday or somebody’s life, you know?