Impact of domestic violence and abuse on women’s mental health

It is now generally recognised that experiencing domestic violence and abuse is associated with mental health problems including anxiety and depression. These issues can make the abusive situation even worse, as the partner or ex-partner may make use a mental health diagnosis (for example, telling someone that they’re ‘mad’). It can also be difficult for health professionals to see beyond the mental health issues and to recognise that an abusive relationship may be at the heart of the problems. It is, therefore, important that professionals recognise the wider impacts for those living in an abusive relationship, and are able to offer the appropriate support.

Most of the women we interviewed suffered from anxiety and depression at some stage. Many had been on medication to treat depression, and a few had been ‘sectioned’ under the Mental Health Act*. Many women were concerned that a diagnosis of mental health issues could be used by their partner against them in child residency and contact proceedings. This meant that they were reluctant to talk to their GPs (see ‘Getting help from doctors and other health professionals for domestic violence and abuse‘) although when they did, some at least were given appropriate support. We also heard positive stories, with women such as Tina describing how much better she feels now that she is no longer in an abusive relationship.

After years of abuse and numerous suicide attempts Tina now feels ‘brilliant’ and has not attempted suicide for over a year.

Age at interview 50

Gender Female

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Depression and anxiety

Some women described how the depression and anxiety they experienced carried on after leaving the relationship. Sometimes, they were not always sure at first what was wrong with them. Penny, described herself as feeling:

‘So crap I kept bursting into tears. ,And not sleeping, waking up at three o’clock with scrambled egg brain. And I was just a wreck really. I just, yeah, I was bursting into tears all the time.’

Even after leaving the relationship, women described experiencing panic attacks, had flashbacks or nightmares, self-harmed, and suffered from post-traumatic stress syndrome. This could make it difficult to socialise or trust other people. As Penny explained, she felt angry with her ex-partner because he had ‘made [her] less trusting of people. More wary. Because he just took [her] in.’ (See also ‘Coercive Controlling Behaviour‘, ‘Life after violence and abuse: ongoing harassment‘ and ‘Emotional-pychological abuse and impact on self-esteem‘.)

Sarah explained that the impacts of abuse stay with you, and that she still sometimes suffers with depression despite being in a new, good relationship.

Age at interview 32

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Irina also described her feelings of depression. She talked about her childhood dreams of being happily married, but the reality was that she was miserable and hoped her husband would go away:

‘You know, I was raised in love, and care, and respect. And I just, I couldn’t understand just lying and crying in bed, just, why, why someone can treat me like that. …[As] a little girl I felt I’m going to have a husband, and I will be happy and we will have children and I will work and I will be perfect wife and he will be perfect husband, and everything will be nice. And suddenly I realised that my childhood dream stayed there and I’m in a dark, darkness, just crying, depressed all the time, waiting for him to go on business trips.’

Women such as Catherine found that the impact on their mental health left them feeling exhausted (see also Emotional-pychological abuse and impact on self-esteem‘)

Catherine described feeling exhausted all the time whilst in her relationship, and then after leaving, realising that it was because of the abuse she was suffering (played by an actor).

Age at interview 46

Gender Female

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Getting help for mental health issues

Sooner or later, most of the women who experienced mental health issues approached their GP for help. Some felt that the GP really knew what to do for them. Melanie believed that because of the way she presented herself, always neat and tidy, that her GP did not know how to help her. Like other women, she also was scared of taking medication for depression or of being ‘labelled’ depressed, but eventually realised that she needed additional help in order to deal with the aftermath of being in an abusive relationship.

Melanie presented a positive image of herself by ‘putting on a mask’ whilst in an abusive relationship, which may have confused professionals.

Age at interview 42

Gender Female

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Mandy, depressed and unable to sleep was offered counselling and medication by her GP who also wrote the phone no. for Women’s Aid on the prescription.

Age at interview 37

Gender Female

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Partners using mental health as a means of abuse

Several women described ways in which partners used mental health issues as a form of abuse. Both Lindsay and Min, following manipulation and false allegations by their partners, were ‘sectioned’ under the Mental Health Act*.

Lindsay was abused for years by her ex-husband who claimed that she was ‘mentally unbalanced’. Eventually, because of his lies and manipulation, she thought she had lost her mind, and was sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

Age at interview 35

Gender Female

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Min spent a night in a mental health ward without her baby and was sectioned’s, following a false allegation of child abuse made by her husband (played by an actor).

Age at interview 47

Gender Female

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Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Many women had been diagnosed with PTSD after leaving their relationships and were dealing with all the symptoms that can cause. Women suffering from PTSD needed specialist help (see ‘Getting help from doctors and other health professionals for domestic violence and abuse‘).

Kate described the strain of dealing with child contact issues and being diagnosed with PTSD because of having lived in fear.

Age at interview 44

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After a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Chloe was advised by her Support worker not to begin therapy until she was ‘more stable’ and had a fixed place to live (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

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Suffering from PTSD, in itself, can be a frightening experience as Sue described.

Sue described imagining things and going to her GP because she was worried that she was ‘losing her mind’..

Age at interview 52

Gender Female

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Flashbacks and nightmares

Another symptom of PTSD that women talked about was suffering from flashbacks and nightmares, which in some cases continued for years after leaving the abusive relationship. Anna, for example, vividly described having flashbacks of her ex-partner trying to suffocate her.

Anna was glad to be getting counselling as she was suffering from flashbacks and kept re-living the trauma of the abuse. She needed help to re-build her life.

Age at interview 47

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Yasmin talked about the ‘mental scars’ which have stayed with her and affected her confidence and self-esteem.

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

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After having been in two abusive relationships, Stephanie found that she ‘almost conflated’ the two partners and still had nightmares about the abuse.

Age at interview 39

Gender Female

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Hypervigilance and panic attacks

Some women described being ‘hypervigilant’ (constantly on edge for any signs of danger) and many also suffered from panic attacks and found it hard to relax. Mandy said:

‘I was always looking over my shoulder. I always lock the car door as soon as I get in. I always keep my front door locked.’

Melanie described feeling as if her head was mush’s at times and being hypervigilant in listening out for doors opening in case her ex was trying to come in.

Age at interview 42

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Lindsay described tying strings to doors so she could see if anyone had tried to get into her home.

Lindsay described how her life had been ‘wrecked’ by her ex-partner. She had constant anxiety, PTSD, and had to monitor her house in case anyone tried to break in.

Age at interview 35

Gender Female

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For a while after leaving, Ella said she had to be accompanied when she went shopping because she had panic attacks.

Ella explained that she no longer trusts men and sleeps with windows and doors open because otherwise she feels trapped (played by an actor).

Age at interview 27

Gender Female

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Feeling like you’re going ‘crazy’

Many of the women described doubting their sanity at times. Shaina said: I felt like I was going crazy. ,Because he made me believe I was crazy.’

Kanya described having medication and counselling but realised the only way to feel better was to get away from her partner.

Kanya described how her husband would make her ‘feel crazy’, and how she felt upset all the time.

Age at interview 41

Gender Female

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A few of the women used the term ‘gas-lighting’ to refer to their experiences of abuse. This is a term used to describe a technique of psychological manipulation that makes the person doubt their own sanity*.

Min explained how her partner would ‘gaslight’ her making her think she was mentally ill by moving things around (played by an actor).

Age at interview 47

Gender Female

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Stephanie experienced ‘gas-lighting’ from her partner, who lied and tried to manipulate her, and who told her that she had ‘psychological problems’.

Age at interview 39

Gender Female

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Self-harming

Another impact on mental health was described by several of the women who felt so low that at times they self-harmed, or, in some cases, made suicide attempts.

Kanya became suicidal when she realised there was no escape from her partner, who kept the child benefit, when she lost her job.

Age at interview 41

Gender Female

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Others, such as Stephanie explained that they wanted to ‘hurt’ themselves.

‘,I feel quite ashamed about this actually, I did self-harm a couple of times as well, I have a scar on my wrist where I went at myself with a pair of scissors because I was just so upset with myself ,for being in that situation and I wanted to hurt myself for it.’

Jacqui described cutting her arms with razors in order to release some of the emotional pain she was feeling, and finally approaching her GP for help.

Age at interview 59

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Anna also described self-harming ‘to get some of the pain out. ,I would pull my hair out. Just, just to take some pain.’

Whereas some women used more obvious means to hurt themselves, others used alcohol and drugs as a way to escape the abuse they were experiencing.

Jane said she had needed a crutch, just to get [her] through the day’ that led her to drink alcohol and take prescribed medication in excess.

Age at interview 46

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Kanya drank alcohol to deal with her feelings of hate towards her partner. It also helped her to sleep but eventually she decided it was better to get help and talk about her difficulties.

Age at interview 41

Gender Female

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A few women, including Tina and Min described their partners actually encouraging them to kill themselves.

Tina described her son passing on a supply of tablets from her partner and being told to ‘just kill yourself’.

Age at interview 50

Gender Female

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*Beingsectioned‘ is the term that is often used when someone is detained under the Mental Health Act. The Mental Health Act is the law which can allow someone to be admitted, detained (or kept) and treated in hospital against their wishes.