So what is your favourite food then?
My favourite ischicken or turkey or roast lamb and roast potatoes added with vegetables.
Like a proper roast dinner?
Yes.
And does your mum cook a good roast dinner?
Yes on Sundays. My favourite roast dinner I have on Sundays.
And is there any day of the week when you don’t draw?
Mum and I went toto go out to help me to do some shopping down the road.
What in the supermarket?
Yes. Supermarkets and my mum and I went to do some money at the Queensway and coming about two or one or two fifty, draw out some money and then do some, mum and I helped to do some shopping. Andsometimes I put,make myself pizza put in the oven and fish and chips in the oven to make myself food and also make myself a sandwich at break time or at lunch.
That is good. And what about breakfast?
Yes. I make myself breakfast like a cereal and my mum makes me a big breakfast like scrambled eggs andbacon and sausage.Mumcooks it makes a big breakfast sometimes. Because I love breakfast, I love sausages and bacon and scrambled eggs.

I’ve got like a plan and it’s got like every different microwave meal I could possibly buy, it’s got a card, and on that card it says what it is and how long it needs to be microwaved for. And I have kind of like a routine. So I get the meal out the freezer. Well I look on the list to see what I’m going to have today, because it’s all planned in advance. I get the meal out the freezer. The list is all Velcro, they’re all Velcro things. So it would be velcroed off, taken to the cupboard above the microwave where’d it’d be stuck on so it’s right above the microwave. The instructions are – somebody walking past the instructions are also on the packets. I’ve got two lots of the instructions. I put it in. Do it. And then take the sign off and then that would be done. But even that causes problems and I can go through two or three microwave meals before I get one that’s actually done right. Nobody know where I’m going wrong. Either doing it too long, not long enough or I put it in and then I forget I’ve done it. I’ve done things like put pizzas in the oven and then completely forgotten about them, until I’ve gone downstairs. Like you know, I’ve put a pizza in and then gone upstairs to play on my computer and it hasn’t been till half seven the next morning when I come down to get breakfast that there’s still a very black pizza cooking in my oven. it’s just, I mean you cook with me on a Friday. Have I learnt anything?

When you say your meals are all planned is that, do you plan them?

Yes. I kind of like choose what I want to eat and everything. So like Monday I’ll decide I’m having that and Tueday I’ll decide I’m having that, and I usually do it like a week in advance and I usually stick to it, but then sometimes if I can’t be bothered then I just won’t eat. Sometimes it’s easier not to eat, especially if you’re having a bad day and struggling to concentrate and process stuff and communicate and everything. Sometimes it’s just easier not to try.

And probably even just on my own, I suppose, trying to live a practical life. If I want to do things like, sort of paying a bill, well the number of steps that simply takes to do that is really quite considerable, and it creates a pressure from trying to switch off my brain from whatever it’s previously thinking about, towards focussing on something like simply paying a bill. it’s really quite sizeable the number of steps it makes me take, where most people can do it instantly, but every single one’s a new challenge. Whereas the simple ease with which you can simply just sit there and think about whatever, or do whatever you want to do, whatever your mind’s particularly focused upon. That to my mind is one of the essences of autism. What really demarcates the autistic person from a normal person as it were, that sort of level of obsession, of course, there are other distinctions as well.

So what’s difficult about everyday life that you need support? Would you know?

I think like when I read like, well I can read things, but it’s like understanding what they want and stuff, like you know if bills came through and stuff. Mum usually reads the stuff and obviously deals with these things obviously, when I read stuff, I just look at it, and put it away and don’t know what to do. Is what I always do, because I look at it and go oh okay then. Because it’s not important to me, I don’t bother with it, you know, so it’s that sort of thing with me.

I am all right at work because I have got nothing else to think about, but at home I have things to think about like all the domestic things like housework and laundry and shopping and cooking and trying to spend time with the children and getting myself to work. It is really difficult keeping on top of things and II was all right while I was living on my own and all the things didn’t get totally upside down, but there are four of us now, and it is hard. I don’t know what to do with stuff, to organise all these things that I am supposed to do. I get a bit lost.

Is it a sort of organisation thing then?

Yes. I know what days I go shopping. AndI am good at washing clothes, but it is when the mail comes in the morning and I think well I need to ring this person up or need to deal with that. And I can’t always do it straight away, you know, because I have got work and stuff like that and I don’t seem to be that great at going to work and looking after the house. I mean it has been a lot untidier and more chaotic since I have been working so much.It seems like when I had the time I didn’t have the money, and now I have got the money I don’t have the time, and I just can’t be everywhere doing everything all once. Its yes, it is organisational and I can’t have more weeksin the year to get extra stuff done.

Would you like somebody to live with you or would you like somebody to come in and

Well not live, not live with me no. But, you know, come in from time to time, you know, just ask, just ask questions. Because that’s, if you’ve got answers from questions that you wanted to ask, that’s what you need. If you end up with answers to questions about which you really couldn’t care less then that’s going to just confuse you more. You know, how do I get this stain off the hob? Why does it matter? You know that kind of thing. I mean if it was how do I get a stain off the hob? Use a scouring pad, this, that and the other, bleach cleaning fluid whatever. Those kind of things are useful. But the, it doesn’t matter approach is not the way to go. It isn’t the way we go.

Who would say to you it doesn’t matter?

Anybody who doesn’t really understand how difficult such tasks would be, because they’re more capable. They don’t see it from my perspective. it’s a completely different perspective and if you try it with someone whos never ever been there. Never really understood the difficulties that come with relatively minor tasks then they’re not going to be sympathetic. they’re just, you know, I’m sure you can figure it out yourself.

Well I think it sort of relates to the things that I don’t like, dealing with various companiesnot that they are my supplier any more, but having to deal with British Gas. Just chronically useless. I mean chronically, incompetently useless. The fact that you can’t a hold of them.They make it incredibly difficult to actually just pay them money and get rid of them. You know, it is silly little things, particularly like dealing with councils.Council Tax and such. You know, these stupid sort of trivial mundane things, and particularly forms. I actually loathe and despise having to fill in forms, particularly anything that comes from the government, because they are so incredibly badly worded, you know, I know it is a very common aspie thing to be very pernickety and particular about what exactly something means. And the levels of ambiguity in some of the things is just, it is atrocious.

You know, I have had, you know, various forms, and just sort of sat and looked at them for six months, simply because I just can’t face dealing with them because I don’t know exactly what information they want. You know, it is not clear.And I think things like that cause a lot of aspies an awful lot of problems. I have known several people who particularly in sort of applying for benefits and such and I think the sort of free bus pass thing, you know, they have had enormous problems doing it, because they can’t cope with the forms. And it is these silly tiny little trivial things that most normal people just completely take in their stride, don’t give a second thought to. Aspies, will obsess over each and every word and exactly what it means and end up sort of freaking out and not getting the things done. And losing out and then they do tend to sort of withdraw into a sort of little cocoon and they don’t want to deal with the rest of the world, because there is all these silly, tiny, little things that everyone copes with fine, or at leas they appear to, and then you feel like such an idiot for not being able to do these silly things.

Things like going to supermarkets, you know. I mean thank God for internet deliveries from the supermarkets. How much easier does that make life? Because I mean I used to before that loathe going to them. You know, that was the nightmare, and I wouldn’treally ever go on my own, you know, always sort of, you know, would basically wait and wait until, you know friends are going or, you know other family members as such. And then sort of go along, buy a ton of stuff all at once, so you don’t have to go back for as long as it is humanly possible.And I think in society, part of the problem is, people kind of don’t really understand why you can do lots of these amazingly complex things. I remember from when I was doing the astrophysics and you know, people were going, Oh my God, oh you must be so clever. Oh you must be so clever to be doing tha because it has a fancy name. But yet, you know, you couldn’t do silly little trivial things like going to Tescos.

I used to do these things like my hour books and sort problems like within an hour, or sometimes I only wrote sometimes the date on some of them. I didn’t really fill much in.And I really relatedI think it was something on, it might have been QED. There was somebody onon the television and she’d I think she rate her days by ray of sunshine. She would like, like may be it was from one to a certain number, the higher the rays of sunshine the better day she had. And I thought that is similar to how I do things. Like systemising, like I used towhat is it now, if it were 15 Celsius and below I would put a coat on, below 10 Celsius a hat. Above 20 Celsius sun cream. I used to have a little system for myself.

Of course there are sort of loop holes in that. It can be 15 Celsius but pouring it down and of course I couldn’t go out with a coat, because I couldn’t do it. But now I just… I judge it on how I feel at the time. Sometimes my parents do actually tell me to put a coat on, because I am32 but I am like a little, I am like a child.Yes. Yes. So.

I go out whenever I want most of the time. I almost always have someone accompanying me. We’re working on my independent travel training. it’s a step towards being able to go out unsupervised.

Would you like that?

Yes.

What sort of places would you go to?

The video arcade, the internet café, the library, the café and anywhere else I cannot think of off the top of my head.

And your travel training is that going well?

I think it’s going pretty good, thank you very much.

What sort of things would you find difficult about travelling on your own?

Crossing the road. Sometimes I might have trouble finding a place I don’t recognise. Judging how fast vehicles are going and coming on to me. And that’s all I can really think of.

It led on from the tests because I also had an OT come in and assess me, like my cooking skills and you know, domestic tasks, and she was quite shocked that, you know, I thought nothing of sticking my hands into an oven without oven gloves on, and you know, I burnt the tips of my fingers, and then the next time she visited I did it again. Because I just don’t learn from mistakes. So, then they spoke to like people who I lived with at the time, and they, you know, kind of explained that walking across a road, just don’t process what’s going on.

Weekends.
Yes.
Because it’s so unstructured, I’ll suddenly think I want to decorate my bedroom. And again because of the unrealistic sense of danger, and risk assessment skills, I’ll do things like get a step ladder and put it on top of the bed, so I can reach the ceiling and obviously, you know, that can result in falling and other problems. So they’ve just allowed me an extra two hours of PA time a week to have two hours on a Saturday afternoon. And the care company that I can call in an emergency they also phone me at 9 a.m. and 8 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays to check that I’ve done everything that I need to do and that I’m safe. So if there are any problems or I don’t answer the phone or something like that, then they know that there’s a problem and they send someone round. Because I’ve gotalthough I live on my own, I have got pretty much quite a hefty care package.

[Laughs] my care plan says I’m not supposed to, apart from to the shop which is literally round the corner and there’s no roads to cross. Although I still did manage to get run over going to it once. But no my care plan says that I shouldn’t go out unaccompanied.

Is that quite frustrating?

Very. Because as much as like my PA’s great and really flexible and stuff like that. If I wake up Saturday morning or anything and I’m going to run out of milk, okay I can go to the small little shop, but I can’t go right I’m going to go down to Tescos and I’m going to get some milk and while I’m there I’m going to get some bread and something else, or something else, or you can’t think oh I really crave a McDonalds and go to McDonalds or something like that. You’ve restricted as to when you can go out and when you can do things, to doyou know, even like thinking, you know, ringing up and making a doctor’s appointment. You have to sit and think well okay, who can take me that day, who can take me that day? And then that leaves problems like, because the doctor’s surgery don’t understand when you phone them up, that you know, you can’t go on your own. So they go, Well we can’t give you an appointment this afternoon. it’s got to be this morning. We don’t give out the afternoon appointments until lunch time I said, Well lunch time’s too short notice for me to get someone to come with me And they’re like, Well you should get a taxi down And it’s like oh I could but is it really, you know, the best thing. So it gets very confusing for everyone.

Have you learnt, I mean you’re saying about your knives and your cooker and road safety and stuff? Have you sort of learned to be any better at any of this stuff or is it a complete no no?

[Laughs] I had a brilliant OT from the learning disability team, who worked on cooking solidly with me for two years. And by the end of the two years, we just about mastered simple microwave stuff. And every week I go and stick my hands in an oven or stick my finger in boiling water. You know, you test it. I just