Nick

Nick’s older brother was diagnosed with MS while abroad on a university scholarship. Currently, he lives independently and leads a happy positive life. Nick is ready to provide support for his brother when need be.

Nick’s older brother was in his second year of university on a placement in USA when he developed a twitch in his eye. Once he returned to the UK he went through a series of tests and eventually was diagnosed with MS. Nick remembers feeling very shocked at the time.

After being diagnosed, Nick’s brother finished university, found employment and moved away to live independently. Nick describes him as being incredibly positive and happy in his life. Nick believes it’s important that his brother maintains his independence and lives his life as he chooses. But he also wishes they lived nearer to one another, so they could see each other more often and Nick could provide support if and when needed. His brother does not talk about the emotional effect MS has on him and Nick finds this difficult. In the future his brother may not be able to maintain his independence and Nick worries that this will cause him to feel depressed.

Nick describes a role-reversal in that his older brother may start looking to him, the younger brother, for support. Nick finds it very upsetting to see his older brothers health decline; he sometimes feels guilty that he is able get on with his life in a way that his brother cannot. However, they cope with the condition on his brother’s terms and Nick is impressed by his brother’s positive attitude. Having a brother with MS has allowed Nick to appreciate his own health. He now regularly enters running events to fundraise for MS charities and in 2012 he is running 20 races in 12 months. He explains how this charity work is rewarding, not only because it helps fund research, but because it also raises awareness of MS.

Nick advises others who have a sibling with MS to let their brother or sister cope with the condition in the way that they feel is best. He describes how his brother’s welfare is a mutual concern for every member of their family and this in turn has brought them closer together.

Nick thinks his brother’s MS has brought the family closer together. They have all reacted differently but they share a common concern for his welfare.

Age at interview 30

Gender Male

It’s probably brought us closer together I suppose because it’s obviously a common factor I suppose that it’s a, it’s a concern for everyone in the family about my brother’s welfare. So but it obviously affects different people different ways and dad’s quite emotional. He probably sort of took it hardest whereas and he still gets sort of upset about it I suppose but then my mum’s more was more rational about it and just wanted to know everything about it and what could be done and how she could sort of help him I suppose. But also I think weve got a good sort of strong family unit anyway, so I think that helps. So hes got quite a good support network anyway with the family and then also his friends as well. So but yeah, I was trying will try and sort of help as much as possible and if he needs help but.

Do you talk about it to each other? You all live together at the moment and do you talk about it?

Yeah, I’m back home at the moment so yeah, well have a chat about it and sort of about how hes getting on and stuff and but a lot of the time it’ll be part of the conversation with other general stuff that that’s going on in his life. It’s not it’s not really like a dominating factor. It’s always sort of there so we might chat about his treatment but it’ll be in the same conversation about what hes doing with his art or anything else that that’s happened at that time I suppose. Yeah, I suppose the most difficult thing is not being able to visit as much as much as wed like but.

Do you ever imagine what it would be like if he was down the road or even in the same town?

Yeah, I mean it’d be good, it would be nice to see him more and spend more time with him but when hes down sort of see each other and spend time together. But yeah, I suppose it’s, it’s sort of thinking what it might be like if he hadn’t of had the disease and what hed have been able to do that he sort of can’t do now but I suppose you can’t really think about that. You’ve just sort of get got to get on with it and sort of how it is I suppose. But I think were sort of relatively happy with the way things are I suppose and it’s good to sort of speak to him regularly and sort of see him every few months.

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Nick sees his brother leading a pretty full life, despite the disease and is relatively hopeful about his future.

Age at interview 30

Gender Male

Do you think at all about how the future is going to shape up for him?

Yeah, I suppose yeah, obviously the sort of the work and relationship aspects of things are a concern. It’d be great for those two things to improve and then sort of later in life, I’m not really sure. Obviously, things like life expectancy and stuff, stuff come into it I suppose but it’s just hoping hoping he can stay as healthy as possible and lead the life that he wants to lead I suppose. It’s like the physical aspects obviously, affect him but hes quite an intelligent guy and hes into his, hes got a lot of specific interests sort of in the arts and in music and I think the internet always helps in that respect. Hes got a lot of friends on line and hes got all these interests, so hes always really busy and getting on with things. So I’m sort of relatively hopeful for the future and I think, as long as he stays positive and he still enjoys life, then I think he leads a pretty full life despite the disease.

So I’m not too concerned in that respect. So it’s only, like I say, if it gets worse and it does affect his mobility, so what would the scenario be if he was to, if his movement wasn’t good enough for him to stay in Scotland, what with the snow up there and would be have to come back and live at home and then how would that affect him. Obviously, hes still got his friends back here but would that make him depressed or what would he do for a job? So theres probably longer term worries like that. I suppose it’s just sort of living day to day at the moment and seeing what’s round the corner but also getting on with it and as long as hes happy and things are fine up there then just see how it goes I suppose.

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Nick thinks it might be upsetting for him to know too much about MS but is confident that his brother is receiving good care from health professionals.

Age at interview 30

Gender Male

I think theres so much information out there. I mean when theres sort of stuff in the news you read about different treatments and things that are going on but I don’t really want to get sort of too involved and think, one, because it’s quite upsetting sort of seeing how it affects him anyway, so there probably is a certain amount of denial there but then also, I think the medical people that look after him sort of know what they’re doing. He gets good treatment up in Scotland I think and I don’t know if you can drive yourself mad by trying to research too much into it and you can almost know too much I think, when that can that can affect you even more I suppose. So but yeah, it’s just sort of letting him get on with it I suppose. But yeah.

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