Jeff

Jeff’s wife began to show signs of memory issues at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. He took her to the GP, and she was referred to the memory clinic. However, due to delays because of the pandemic, it took 19 months until his wife was given a diagnosis. She now takes medication and attends a memory café. Jeff tries to ensure that there are activities they can do together.

Jeff first noticed his wife was forgetting things but was not initially concerned as he also forgot things due to his age. However, he continued to notice there was a problem and contacted the GP, who referred them to the memory clinic. They started an 18-week assessment programme, which ended up being 19 months due to the pandemic. Although Jeff knew there was medication his wife could take, the delay in the assessment meant that they “lost perhaps a…a year” of getting the medication they needed to help. Once being assessed, Jeff’s wife was diagnosed with what they suspected to be Alzheimer’s and put on medication.

The pandemic was difficult for Jeff, as his main concern was his wife’s health, which often overshadowed world events. His wife did not understand what was happening during the pandemic and why rules such as mask-wearing were needed. Jeff’s wife experienced further confusion when she was diagnosed with another condition. This required her to go to the hospital to receive treatment, but she was discharged early. Without a care package, Jeff was left to help his wife treat her condition, including giving injections and changing dressings alongside providing dementia care.

Jeff’s wife needs his help with daily tasks such as choosing clothes, getting dressed, and washing. Jeff has had to learn new skills every day to help him manage new tasks. To get more support, Jeff contacted a care support agency to find more information about the help available and began attending a memory café with his wife. They try to do activities they enjoy together, but Jeff has found one of the hardest things about caring has been the loneliness as he often spends the evenings alone.

Jeff discusses the change in booking an appointment at the clinic

Age at interview 77

Gender Male

I think one thing: the pandemic has altered the way that we visit our GPs and have contact with them, it’s actually difficult to get past the reception desk, whether that’s in person… well, they don’t like you to go in person, and I don’t like to discuss her condition with the receptionist, so that… so the pandemic has had an unfortunate effect on our GP, well the NHS in general.

So, you have to sort of explain everything to the receptionist just to sort of… in order to see or speak to someone who’s a medical professional?

Yeah.

OK, and that’s uncomfortable for you?

It is, yeah, because they’re not… they obviously trained to be a receptionist, but… and obviously they do change different ones, and I just wonder how professional they are about it, and how discreet.

I see.

Especially living in a village.

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Jeff tried to get his partner tested for dementia during the Covid-19 pandemic

Age at interview 77

Gender Male

It’s about three years ago when… my wife started forgetting odd things, but I didn’t take a lot of notice because I also forget some things at my age, but it became obvious after a while that there was a problem, and so I approached our local GP and set up an appointment to see them, and they recommended us to the local memory clinic. They started to… an assessment programme, but this was just at the start of the pandemic, so what they said would be an 18-week assessment, turned out to be 19 months. I was aware at the time that she may be able to have medication to help, but of course that… we lost perhaps a year of that, but the world was in chaos at the time and so it’s understandable, but sad.

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Jeff talks about his partner’s dependency on his instructions

Age at interview 77

Gender Male

I’ve noticed that her condition is deteriorating, very slowly, but it’s certainly deteriorating, and we’re now at a stage where I help her to get dressed in the morning, I choose her clothes, she has simply no idea of what to do next. I put her in the shower, when I close the door she says… put her hands up to the glass door and says, “Don’t leave me, don’t leave me,” so I can’t leave at all, and I have to tell her what to do in the shower, and then she comes out and is dried, I take her into the bedroom and we begin her dressing. I cook all the meals. We’ve just recently had someone to come in to help clean the house because over the last three years it’s slowly got worse and worse and I haven’t had the time to do what has… is really necessary, but we’re OK now. So, I’m learning new skills every day.

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