Ana

Ana travelled to the UK aged 17 to work as an au pair. She met her partner through mutual friends and they soon started living together at his mother’s house. They married and had two children. Her husband controlled her behaviour and isolated her, and Ana endured eight years of verbal and physical abuse until she got a UK residency card when she was able to flee to a women’s refuge with the help of the police and Women’s Aid. (Video clips played by an actor.)

Ana gave up her au pair job to move in with her boyfriend at his mother’s house, shortly after meeting him on a weekend away with friends. She soon became pregnant and began to suffer verbal and physical abuse. Her husband took drugs, stayed out late at night and accused her of having affairs. When his mother overheard the violent arguments she did not offer any support.

The couple moved to a different town where Ana knew no-one. Her partner could not tolerate her having any friends or visitors, she was isolated and became depressed as the abuse escalated. During her second pregnancy the couple returned to Ana’s home country to get married. On the eve of their wedding her partner was violent and aggressive to her in private but her family urged her to stick with him. Ana described being in a daze’, like she was enduring a forced marriage’.

Ana recognised early on that her partner was abusive but she felt trapped because her immigration status was only on a spouse visa with no right remain in the UK outside the marriage. She made frequent calls to the National Domestic Violence Help-line where she gained comfort and support, but she could not enter a women’s refuge without access to public funds. She left after violent assaults and, despite involvement of the police, she was offered no alternative but to return to her husband. When her mother and brothers visited from her home country they witnessed but remained silent about her husband’s abusive behaviour.

Ana decided to play a waiting game’ until she achieved indefinite right to remain in the UK, with its accompanying rights and benefits. She endured many more years of abuse, whilst planning a more strategic’ way of escaping, getting information online about her rights and the availability of support. She found some freedom’ in part-time jobs but these never lasted long owing to her husband’s jealousy and his demands on her. She was able, eventually, to get her residency card which she described as a golden ticket’!

Another mother at her children’s school recognised Ana’s situation and introduced her to a women’s refuge worker. With her support, a Women’s Aid outreach worker, and a domestic violence counsellor, Ana prepared for separation and, after a violent row her husband moved out. After many months of harassment, threats to kill her and police call-outs, Ana moved to a women’s refuge with her children for a year. This was the beginning of a long journey’ of recovery for Ana and her children. Her children both displayed aggressive and abusive behaviour towards her at first, and Ana felt un-supported by social workers who questioned her parenting skills.

Ana is now happily settled with her children in a flat, with a healthy partner relationship and a rewarding job. (Video clips played by an actor.)

Ana resisted the urge to kill herself or her partner and kept alive the hope that she would eventually be free (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana urges health professionals to be sensitive to women’s fears about disclosing abuse, such as losing their children, and to take things gently (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Lonely and isolated, Ana was pregnant when her partner began to abuse her and neither her mother-in-law nor her mother felt able to help (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

After threats to kill her, Ana with the support of a Domestic Violence and Abuse agency and the police, moved into a women’s refuge to keep her and the children safe after her ex broke a non-molestation order (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

After enduring eight years of abuse Ana described the moment of getting her ‘Golden Ticket’, a visa that enabled her to access services (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana was ‘petrified’ of her husband’s anger and made excuses for his behaviour (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana cried with relief when her support worker told her ‘100%’ she was being abused (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana says the refuge was a haven where she ‘felt free’ but her children spent half the time with their dad who had a negative influence on their behaviour (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana described living in isolation and fear and how one of the mums at the school helped her contact a friend who worked in a refuge (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Verbal abuse on the eve of her wedding became a feature of Ana’s marriage if she had social contact with anyone apart from her husband (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female

Ana felt her husband wanted ‘a trophy wife’ whose appearance, behaviour and friendships he could control (played by an actor).

Age at interview 32

Gender Female