I think of the future every day.

Actually, more than that, multiple times a day.

I worry and I overthink, and ultimately I end up going over and over what the future looks like.

Not only for my brother, but my family as his support network.

Nobody else will ever be an expert in him; like we are.

We are the four people in his life who know the very ins and outs of him as a person.

Like his triggers fears behaviors and actions.

It’s hard to think of him being cared for in a different setting other than our family home.

It’s all I’ve ever known, and my family have known and I worry that no care provider will ever know him truly.

I want him to live a full life, but I don’t know how he will do that safely in the future.

The thing is I want my parents to have their lives back too.

And the only way that that is possible is by letting go of my brother and allowing him to be looked after by local services.

I think the future will always be uncertain as much as I try to plan. And structure things.

It’s very much out of my control.

I worry about my parents getting older and the responsibility of my brother being down to one parent and my sister and I, or eventually just my sister and I to be wholly responsible for someone as a person and take ownership of such big things like their health, finances, well being and quality of life is a very scary concept.